Matt Lauer…, you’re fired!

Let’s take a look at what happened here (along with a few editorial comments!).

In a statement from NBC News Chairman Andrew Lack, “On Monday night (11/27/17), we received a detailed complaint from a colleague about inappropriate sexual behavior in the workplace by Matt Lauer. It represented, after serious review, a clear violation of our company’s standards. As a result, we’ve decided to terminate his employment. We were presented with reason to believe this may have not been an isolated incident.”

Lauer has served as co-anchor of NBC’s morning news program for over 20 years, since 1997. Over this time we have been subjugated to Mr. Lauer’s “objective” interviews that he has conducted from his seat of unquestioned credibility with his unerring moral compass.

Via a statement given to NBC Thursday morning (11/30/17), Matt Lauer said, “Some of what is being said about me is untrue or mischaracterized (Isn’t that NBC News’ MO?), but there is enough truth in these stories to make me feel embarrassed and ashamed (I doubt it). I regret that my shame is now shared by the people I cherish dearly (Ya, I wish they could deal with all of it). There are no words to express my sorrow and regret for the pain I have caused others by words and actions (I’m sure you could come up with some if you really tried). To the people I have hurt, I am truly sorry (Ya, I’m truly sorry that I got caught!). As I am writing this I realize the depth of the damage and disappointment I have left behind at home and at NBC (Now that I believe). Repairing the damage will take a lot of time and soul-searching and I’m committed to beginning that effort. It is now my full-time job (Now you’re free to harass whoever you want! Why stop now?!) The last two days have forced me to take a very hard look at my own troubling flaws (Which means he analyzed how he allowed himself to get caught). It’s been humbling. I am blessed to be surrounded by the people I love. I thank them for their patience and grace.”

I even heard that Matt had a secret button on his desk that would lock his office door, thus trapping unexpecting women staffers in his den of iniquity. Wow, that’s pretty “007ish” of you Matt! My question is, who installed that function into your office, and what was your reasoning for having it installed at the time?

Well, anyway, we’ll see ya Matt. I hope you socked some money away for a rainy day, ‘cause it’s pouring out.