James Comey talked about his new book: “My Higher Loyalty to ‘The Swamp,’ and how I’ll lie to protect it!”

James Comey just had an exclusive interview with ABC News’ chief anchor George Stephanopoulos that aired Sunday night ahead of the April 17 release of his book “A Higher Loyalty: Truth, Lies, and Leadership.”

(A “higher loyalty” to who is my question? I guess he’s referring to a “higher loyalty” to all of his “swampy,” liberal friends. But shouldn’t the FBI Director’s loyalty be to The President of the United States, whether he agrees with him or not, and the American people?)

Just to provide some level of perspective, prior to his career as a “journalist,” Stephanopoulos was an advisor to the Democratic Party. He rose to early prominence as a communications director for the 1992 presidential campaign of Bill Clinton and subsequently became The White House communications director. He was later a senior advisor for policy and strategy for the Clintons, before departing The Clinton White House in December 1996.

So anyway, here is a rundown of the “top” moments from this biting interview.

“I’m about to meet with a person who doesn’t know me, who’s just been elected president of the United States … from my watching him during the … campaign, could be volatile,” Comey said. “And I’m about to talk to him about allegations that he was involved with prostitutes in Moscow and that the Russians taped it and have leverage over him.”

(Hmmm, that’s funny. I thought the FBI already knew by that time that the dossier was a bunch of unsubstantiated garbage that wasn’t worth the paper it was printed on. I guess it was just wishful thinking on Comey’s part, and a desire to keep the “Russian collusion” narrative alive at the time.)

He said that at least on a physical level, Trump lived up to Comey’s expectations.

“He had impressively coiffed hair … it looks to be all his. I confess I stared at it pretty closely and my reaction was ‘it must take a lot of time in the morning,” Comey said. (That’s weird!)

“His tie was too long as it always is … he looked slightly orange up close with small white half-moons under his eyes, which I assume are from tanning goggles,” he said.

(Hmmm. Again, interesting. I don’t recall this type of critical assessment regarding President Obama or Secretary Clinton, although I could easily come up with a few if that’s what I was inclined to do, such as President Obama’s ears and his condescending attitude towards the hardworking American people, and Hillary’s impressive collection of pant suits, along with her inclinations to fall down, and her condescending attitude towards the hardworking American people as well.)

Comey commented that he thought the Trump presidency is a “forest fire” that can cause “tremendous damage.”

(Again, a “forest fire…that can cause tremendous damage” to who is my question? I guess he’s referring again to all of his “swampy,” liberal friends, and “the swamp’s” infrastructure.)

Comey said it felt as if Trump and his team were trying to make it feel like Comey and the other intelligence heads there were all working as part of the same team, or in mafia terms, part of the family.

(Hmmm. Yes, this is very strange for The President to express his belief that they were all working for the “same team,” which would be for the American people and The President that they just overwhelmingly elected. Apparently in Comey’s twisted mind this is strange behavior.)

Comey said he believed it’s “very strange” to be comparing the then-incoming president to a mob boss, but it was a comparison he included in his book. I’m not trying to … suggest that President Trump is out breaking legs and shaking down shopkeepers. But instead, what I’m talking about is that leadership culture constantly comes back to me when I think about my experience with the Trump administration,” Comey said.

(With all due respect, and I am saying “with all due respect,” please Mr. Comey, you have got to be kidding me. After President Obama essentially weaponized the FBI and conspired, along with Hillary Clinton, and the DNC, to spy on and negatively influence the Trump campaign and the election overall, you have got to be kidding me.)

Russian involvement in the election was not the only topic of conversation when Comey spoke to Trump in that transition meeting in January.

He also discussed the “dossier,” a 35-page document containing raw intelligence compiled by former British intelligence agent Christopher Steele.

Comey said he didn’t talk to him about the financing of the “dossier.”

(That would make sense, since Comey knew the dossier was bought and paid for by Hillary Clinton!)

He even told Stephanopoulos that he doesn’t recall using the term “Steele dossier” at all. One of the more salacious topics covered in the “dossier” relates to unverified claims, which have been denied by Trump since, that he had been involved with prostitutes during a 2013 trip to Moscow.

“He interrupted, started talking about it, you know, ‘Do I look like a guy who needs hookers?’ I didn’t answer that, and I just moved on and explained: ‘Sir, I’m not saying that we credit this, I’m not saying we believe it. We just thought it very important that you know,”” Comey said.

(Excuse me, but you must assume we are all idiots just like you are. Comey says, “I’m not saying that we credit this (the dossier), I’m not saying we believe it.” No, we, the FBI, just used the dossier as the basis to spy on the Trump campaign in the FISA court!!!!!! Is this where the “lies” part of the title comes from?)

Comey said he knew the investigation into former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s use of a private email server was going to present a “no-win situation” for him. “One half of the partisan divide is gonna be angry at us no matter what we do,” he told Stephanopoulos.

(Ahhh, again, excuse me, but should the FBI Director be worried about what some people are going to think about him? Shouldn’t his main concern be finding out the facts? I mean, if the FBI is such a non-political organization, just loaded with integrity from top to bottom, why would it matter?)

The email saga became a major part of the 2016 presidential campaign, as Clinton was the Democratic candidate.

Clinton opponents, including Trump, regularly criticized Comey and investigators for choosing not to bring Clinton before a grand jury, but Comey defended that decision in the ABC News special as well.

Comey describes how Loretta Lynch’s (Obama’s Attorney General) credibility gap propelled him into Clinton email saga. (Note, it only “propelled” him in his own mind.)

Comey says his assumption Clinton would win was ‘a factor’ in the email investigation.

(We know what happens when we “ass-u-me” don’t we?!)

“We would prefer with a subject of an investigation to do an informal interview. Lot more flexibility there,” Comey said, adding that “they’re still required to tell the truth.”

(Oh sure…completely understandable…, especially since Comey had written his letter exonerating Hillary months before any part of his investigation even took place!” Man, the FBI is REALLY good! They could even see into the future apparently!)

He also defended his actions because he viewed it as an effort to defend the independence of the FBI and its investigation. He added that there were certain concerns about then-Attorney General Loretta Lynch, who reportedly asked him to call the email saga a “matter” and not an “investigation.”

“It worried me. It gave me an uncomfortable feeling because the Clinton campaign had been trying to come up with other words to describe it,” he said.

(Again, WHO CARES what the Clinton campaign wanted you to do or was trying to do!!!! Apparently, the FBI was not quite as “independent” as Comey was portraying them to be.)

“I decided I have to step, as much as I like her, I have to step away from her and show the American people the FBI’s work separately,” Comey said of Lynch.

In the end, Comey believes the investigation achieved its goals. (I beg to differ Mr. Comey. The FBI achieved all of its goals except one…, Donald Trump won the election!)

“The FBI drove this investigation and we did it in a competent and independent way. I would bet my life on that,” he said.

(Ooooh, I wouldn’t do that. It might be a bet you’ll regret in the very near future!)

Comey also admitted that he is surrounded by Hillary supporters (No kidding!!!) and he revealed that while he didn’t vote in the 2016 election (I’m calling BS on that.), that as the FBI director he was “trying to be outside of politics,” there were a lot of Clinton supporters in his family.

“I’m pretty sure that at least my four daughters, probably all five of my kids, wanted Hillary Clinton to be the first woman president. I know my amazing spouse did,” he said. Patrice Comey, his wife of more than three decades, told Stephanopoulos that she was a strong supporter of Clinton’s.

“I wanted a woman president really badly, and I supported Hillary Clinton. A lot of my friends worked for her. And I was devastated when she lost,” she said.

Patrice Comey and the couple’s daughters participated in the Women’s March, which was held the day after the inauguration. (I wonder if they wore those pink vagina hats?!)

Comey was invited to the White House for an event with law enforcement officers, but he was hesitant. “I worried very much about that independence of the FBI. And, remember there were a whole lot of people who thought that I had helped elect Donald Trump and so why would I wanna go to a public reception with the president two days after he takes office?” Comey said.

He decided to go, and thought he was potentially going to be overlooked because his suit was roughly the same color of the blue curtain, but that didn’t happen.

Trump called him over.

“I remember the walk … it seems like 1,000 yards across the blue room, the oval Blue Room … and my family’s had a lot of fun watching my face as I walk across … ‘cause they know that’s my ‘Oh no’ face,”

(Soooo dramatic!)

Comey said, going on to note how, among family, that look is known as his “oh s—” face.

Days after that Oval Office photo opportunity, Trump called Comey and invited him to dinner at the White House.

“He said, ‘You know, a lot of people would wanna be FBI director and, given all you’ve gone through, I would understand if you wanna walk away. But it would look like you’d done something wrong if you did that. But I figured I should meet with you and … see what you wanna do,'” Comey said.

“He said, ‘I expect loyalty, I need loyalty.’ And I just stared at him and had this little narrative with myself inside, saying, ‘Don’t you move, don’t you dare move. Don’t even blink,'” Comey said.

“I think because I was caught totally by surprise. I couldn’t think of a clever response. And by the second time he came back to it, I had my wits about me and had a better answer,” Comey said.

“He said, again, ‘I need loyalty.’ And I said, ‘You will always get honesty from me.’ And he paused and then he said, ‘Honest loyalty,’ as if he was proposing some compromise or a deal. And I paused and said, ‘You’ll get that from me,'” Comey recounted. (That was a lie.)

Another uncomfortable moment came on Feb. 14, 2017, the day after then-National Security Adviser Michael Flynn had been forced out. After a security briefing, Comey said that Trump asked everyone else to leave, including Vice President Mike Pence and Attorney General Jeff Sessions, who was Comey’s boss at the time.

“It’s so unusual for the FBI director and the president to be alone at all. But to kick out the vice president of the United States and the attorney general, who I work for, so you could talk to me alone, something was up,” Comey said.

Comey said Trump “said he hopes I can let it go,” referring to the criminal investigation into Flynn.

“His words were, though, ‘I hope you can let it go.’ I took the expression of hope as, ‘This is what I want you to do,'” he told Stephanopoulos.

Trump has denied saying this.

Comey said he didn’t stop Trump from making such a request, and told Stephanopoulos “maybe I should have.”

“As I’ve thought about it since, if he didn’t know he was doing something improper, why did he kick out the attorney general and the vice president of the United States and the leaders of the intelligence community? I mean, why am I alone if he doesn’t know the nature of the request? But it’s possible that in the moment I shoulda, you know, another person would have said, ‘Sir, you can’t ask me that. That’s a criminal investigation. That could be obstruction of justice,'” he said.

(Oh boy, that’s cute. James Comey worrying about obstructing justice!! I guess it all depends on who’s “justice” we’re talking about. Just think about all of the Obama and Clinton surrogates who got away with questionable behavior with either a pardon or no consequences whatsoever. Maybe that’s the type of consideration President Trump was referring to?)

So let’s review what terrible concerns Mr. Comey had regarding President Trump:

The President had the nerve to call him over to talk during a public reception at The White House! Ahhhh!

The President invited him over to The White House for dinner! For the love of God!!!

President Trump expressed to Mr. Comey that loyalty was important to him! They are limits to how much a human can endure!!

And finally, The President may have suggested to Mr. Comey, at least according to Comey, that it would be nice if members of his administration got the same level of consideration as the members of the last administration. Ohhh, the pain of it all! Please make it stop!

“Our president must embody respect and adhere to the values that are at the core of this country. The most important being truth. This president is not able to do that. He is morally unfit to be president,” Comey added.

(I beg to differ with you Mr. Comey. I believe President Trump does “embody respect” and he does “adhere to the values that are at the core of this country.” Definitely more so that our previous president.)

Do ya’ll have any more of those pink vagina hats floating around? I think our friend, James Comey, could use one!

Thanks to Meghan Keneally, from Good Morning America and Yahoo News for contributing to this article.

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